I won’t deny that I have felt distant from God. I knew He was with me, but I did not feel the Holy Spirit in my life. It was an awful feeling, perhaps compared to the feeling that comes when you are sleepwalking. And I admit that I was. Sleepwalking, that is. Not physically, but spiritually.
Spiritually sleepwalking. Sleepwalking away from God.
I can’t tell you what brought me into this state, because I myself honestly don’t know. Perhaps it was the busyness of high school. Perhaps it was the distractions of the holiday season. Perhaps it was my laziness. Perhaps it was the lack of set-apart time with God. Perhaps all of the above.
However I came to this state is not the most important fact. The interesting thing is how I escaped this state of spiritual sleepwalking. But I should probably reword that sentence. For I didn’t escape. I was rescued.
Once I had noticed my distance from God, I began to concoct ideas on how to close this distance. In fact, I wrote a post about it (a post which I never plan to publish so it will continue to wait eternally as a draft). If I would have thought longer about a title for the post (and came up with one that reflected the exact message I was trying to communicate) it probably would have been this: Things You Can Do To Close The Distance Between You And God.
The things I listed were: structured devotional time, worship and prayer. Little did I realize that only one of those three things was really necessary in order to close the distance. Prayer.
Laying in my bed last night I realized this. Prayer. I didn’t have to make a list of to-do’s in order to close the distance. God was waiting for my plea for forgiveness. He was waiting for me to ask for his Holy Spirit to fall on me once again. And so I did.
I praise God that He has closed the distance between us. Because in my own strength, with my weak list of to-do’s and my hard heart, I could have never closed the distance.
But my loving Father. My Savior, my Friend, my Rescuer. My Redeemer. My King.
He closed the distance.
Because of His great love for me.
And with the sun this morning came the spiritual opening of sleepwalking eyes. The renewal of my vital and intimate relationship with Jesus.
Thank you, Jesus, for closing the distance when I could not. For going to great lengths to pursue me. For loving me even when I walk away from you. For always being there for me. I love you.