the future…

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As a high school sophomore, I get asked one particular question quite often. It’s a question that I usually answer with not much more than a frustrated sigh. And for those of you who are also in high school, you probably feel the same. So, what’s this question, you ask?

“What do you want to do after high school?” 

This question can be worded in many ways, but each one causes an emotional war to spring up in my heart. What do I want to do after I graduate?

My answer has usually been a messy jumble of occupation ideas that I have considered over the past years. If I was to be really honest I would just say: I. Don’t. Know.

But I don’t want that to be my answer; it sounds too teenage-ish.

I don’t want my life to be ordinary. I don’t want it to be about me. I want my life to be a mirror.

And so I choose to turn from the chaos and confusion of my own thoughts, and rest in the One who can see it all. Past, present, future. And there it is…my life plotted on the program of the world. He sees the mistakes that lay ahead, but He also sees the triumphs.

And so God, here is my humble surrender. I want your will for my life. Not mine. My will is full of selfish motives and impossibilities. Your will is full of sovereignty and possibilities. 

God, change me, form me into the person you want me to be. I am an instrument in your hands, a mound of wet clay on your potter’s wheel. Use me how you wish, O Lord.

Now I will listen for the whispers of God. The whispers that will guide me on the path of His will. And wherever that leads, I can know that it is fulfilling, satisfying, amazing, breath-taking, and beautifully, good.

So today I’m asking a new question.

One that frees me from the stress and pressure of having to answer the original question on my own. My answer does not have to be “I don’t know.” Instead, I can answer a question with a question and wait on God to speak.

“God, what do you want me to do after high school?” 

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” -Jeremiah 29:11

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